How Dodgy are you?

thesite.org

I got:

Scoundrel

More than a bit naughty - you're heading for a spot of bother at this rate - that is if you're not already inside. You don't have to be perfect, but if no one says you're a bad person, they're wrong. You are.

Years in prison: 56
Potential fine: £7000
Plus a possibility of the death penalty!

Thanks ILuvNUFC

Tags: iluvnufc humour

How much is your blog worth?

Anybody want to buy timstabler.blogspot.com?

My blog is worth $564.54.
How much is your blog worth?

Half price? 50 quid? 50 pence?

Tags: humour generator

England qualify for the World Cup

The BBC website has a list of the teams who have qualified for the 2006 World Cup.

"Defending champions Brazil secured their place at next year's World Cup finals in Germany with a 5-0 mauling of Chile in Brasilia on Sunday".

The 24 teams who have qualified so far are:
Germany, Argentina, Japan, Iran, South Korea, Saudi Arabia, Ukraine, USA, Brazil, Mexico, Angola, Togo, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Holland, Poland, England, Croatia, Italy, Tunisia, Portugal, Ecuador, Paraguay, Costa Rica.

Edit: - All 32 have now been sorted.
Germany, Argentina, Japan, Iran, South Korea, Saudi Arabia, Ukraine, USA, Brazil, Mexico, Angola, Togo, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Holland, Poland, England, Croatia, Italy, Tunisia, Portugal, Ecuador, Paraguay, Costa Rica, France, Serbia and Montenegro, Sweden, Australia, Trinidad and Tobago, Switzerland, Spain and Czech Republic.

Tags: football England bbc

God ordered me to do it, said Bush

Daily Telegraph

Nabil Shaath, the Palestinian information minister said
"President Bush said to all of us, 'I'm driven with a mission from God. God would tell me: George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan.

'And I did, and then God would tell me, George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq…and I did.

'And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me - go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East. And by God I'm gonna do it'."

Tags: politics Bush humour religion USA

worth1000.com Photoshop Galleries

worth1000.com Photoshop Galleries - has some excellent examples of what can be done with a good imagination and a graphics editor.

Plantimals - Merging plants and animals
Mad Scientist 2, 3 - Images of bizarre science experiments
Mate a Movie 8 9 10

Some of the other galleries require registration. (via)

Tags: humour images animal

Euphemisms for Stupid People

findcliches.com

A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A room temperature IQ.
All foam, no beer.
Backstreet Boy in a Talking Heads world
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Lift doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Still cutting with rounded scissors.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

Classic arcade games

Neave games

Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Tetris, Asteroids and more....

Tags: games

World Press Photo foundation

@ bbc.co.uk

The World Press Photo foundation celebrates the 50th anniversary of its annual photographic competition this year.

(Warning: Most of the 12 photographs shown here depict death & destruction)

Tags: images photos bbc

Penguins in the Falklands

Tags: photos images humour animal penguins.

The 100 Best Products of 2005

PCWorld.com have listed their 100 Best Products of 2005.

As Download Squad say

"PC World apparently doesn't consider the months of October, November, and December to be part of the year, or at least a part of the year when good products are released, as they've already published their 100 Best Products of 2005 list. Not quite half of them are software or web sites. In the top two slots are Firefox and Gmail, two very well-deserved rankings. With mounting competition, however, it will be interesting to see how they fare on next year's list. OS X and Skype pop up at #3 and #8, respectively. Opera gets a mention at #88, but Maxthon is way up at #12. Google and A9 are the only search engines listed, coming in at #16 and #70, and Google Desktop Search takes #76. iTunes (at #34) and Windows Media Player 10 (at #47) are the only media players honored, though the iTunes Music Store gets a mention as well. Adobe is at #32 with Photoshop CS2 and #62 with Indesign CS2. The open source community is further represented by Ubuntu Linux, Mozilla Thunderbird, and Tor. Web sites on the list include The New York Timesr, Flickr, Wikipedia, and the Internet Archive and there are no fewer than four IM clients, including fan-favorite Trillian at #61. Finally, the only game listed is Half-Life 2, coming in at #38".

Tags: technical internet resources software list

Free music Friday

seehere.blogspot.com

Look at this has "free music Friday" every week - a colletion of music available on the internet.

This week - Beatles, Pink Floyd, Tracy Chapman, Foo Fighters, Guns N'Roses, Iron Maiden, Jeff Beck, Marcus Miller, Nonpoint, System of a Down, Radiohead, Nickelback, Kaiser Chiefs, ODB, David Bowie, The Smiths, Robin Williams, Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, Green Day, RHCP, ACDC, Placebo, Audiobullys, Tim McGraw, Coldplay, Jimmy Eat World, Britney Spears & Black Eyed Peas amongst others - so, pretty much something for everyone.

Tags: music downloads iluvnufc

Teddy bears

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar.
They talk, they connect and they end up leaving together.
They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes .... After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

Tags: humour

24-megabit broadband for £24 a month

New Links have pointed out that 24 megabit broadband is available from be

Thanks mmChronic

Tags: technical internet

USA flag

God bless America.



Tags: humour images

Drugs warning

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.

A date rape drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females to target unsusupecting men - the drug is generally found in liquid form and is now widely available everywhere - it comes in bottles, cans and from taps and also in large "kegs".

"Beer" is being used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to have sex with them - a women only needs to persuade the unsuspecting male to consume a few units of beer before they are asked to go home for "no strings attached" sex - men are rendered helpless by this approach.

After several "beers" men will often succumb to perform sexual acts with horrific women to whom they are not normally attracted - on waking in the morning they will only have a hazy memory of what happened the night before - just a hazy memory that something "bad" happened.

Recent cases show that some unfortunate men are being swindled out of life savings in a familiar scam known as a "relationship" - in extreme cases the female may be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a long term form of servitude and punishment called "marriage".

Apparentley men are more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex offered by these females - PLEASE - pass on this information to every man you know.

Support groups for those already effected can be found in the yellow pages under "golf courses".

Tags: humour

Rock, paper, scissors - 15

umop.com/rps15.htm

David C. Lovelace has had a bit too much time on his hands, and has devised a rock, paper, scissors game with 15 different gestures. As well as rock, paper & scissors, in this game there is gun, sponge, wolf, human & others.

If you're really wierd, you might like to try RPS-25

Tags: games humour weird

Jesus & the mackem

An Australian, an Irishman and a mackem are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: "My God, it's Jesus!"

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of John Smiths. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.

He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement:
"My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!"

Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
"Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle."

Jesus then approaches the mackem, who says,

"Back off, I'm on disability benefit."

Tags: humour

Al Guevara

Al Guevara t-shirts are now available.

Tags: shopping nufc humour

Game - Dock the boat

easycruise.com

Here's a nice easy game from easycruise.com. All you have to do is dock the ferry in harbours at Barbados, St. Vincent, Martinique The Grenadines, Grenada & St. Lucia.

Tags: games

100 Greatest

channel4.com
The results of the greatest Albums are wrong - What's The Story (Morning Glory) isn't the highest placed Oasis album.
They also list the greatest Movie Stars and musicals amongst others.

Tags: list music film