Same shit, different blog.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

25 things to make you feel manly

This is why us men are great. women? pwah! there only good for.....well...... everything else... probably.

25 things that make you feel like a man.
1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.
2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policemen but even saying it to kids makes you the man.
3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle?
5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.
6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.
7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.
8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".
9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?", "Grr, what does it look like".
10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".
11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a tab? Superb.
12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.
16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17, TEST-SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."
20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which,technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off? Nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".
23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, pet?"
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, "I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized sh*t".
25, CALLING YOUR MATE A TW*T - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".

Tags: humour

Friday, November 18, 2005

13.5 billion years ago

"The results of a ten-hour exposure....the light recorded in it had traveled for 13.5 billion years, 98.5% of the age of the Universe itself"

Thanks Laura

Tags: space technical Laura

The Ashes 2006/7

Provisional dates for the next Ashes series have been made.

"The first Test is due to start in Brisbane on Nov 23 with the next four Tests in Adelaide (Dec 1), Perth (Dec 14), Melbourne (Dec 26) and Sydney (Jan 2)".

Tags: cricket

England's World Cup fixtures

The first night out has been arranged. Barbados, April 28 2007, meet at the cricket ground.

England's World Cup fixtures

Warm-up matches:
March 5: v Bermuda, (St Vincent)
March 9: v Australia (St Vincent)

Group stage:
March 16: v New Zealand (St Lucia)
March 18: v Canada (St Lucia)
March 24: v Kenya (St Lucia)

Super Eight Series:
March 27-April 21

April 24-25

April 28

Tags: cricket England

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I have started to put "tags" on each of my posts. These tags are linked to and means that all the posts on a subject (in a category) can be accessed more easily.

Tags: technical internet

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Find free music on the web

Singing Fish - It took a friend of mine about 10 seconds to find Kaiser_Chiefs-I_Predict_A_Riot.mp3

Geek to Live: Find free music on the web has a webpage filled with links to sources for music, including;

Searching Google for “Ramones” (copy and paste this link) for directory listings of Ramones MP3s. Replace “Ramones” with the artist, genre or keyword of your liking.
There's a link to a "search help" page from as well).

Amazon’s Top Free Music downloads updates every six hours.

Tofu Hut blog has an insanely long list of MP3 blogs

Don't forget the Free Music Friday and archives from Look At This.

If you can't find what you want with these links, then I reckon you should try bit torrent.

via the howto directory of

Tags: music downloads

Udal enjoys first England wicket

BBC link

Making his England debut at 36, Udal picks up his first test wicket.

Tags: cricket

Quiz - referees

Here are pictures of:
(1) Steve Bennett (2) Mark Clattenburg (3) Mike Dean (4) Phil Dowd (5) Graham Poll (6) Mike Riley (7) Rob Styles (8) Peter Walton (9) Howard Webb (10) Alan Wiley

Match the picture to the name.

Tags: football quiz

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


Where I live.
Underneath the Tyne BridgeGrey Street, Newcastle The Angel of the North The quayside, Newcastle Bamburgh Castle Hadrian's Wall

Elephants cross the road in front of Mount Kilimanjaro A Siberian Tiger has a drink
A whale

I am embarrassed to say that I don't know who to give the credit for all of these. icnewcastle are definately the source for some of the local pictures. I think that caedes is another source, I'll see if I can find out.

Tags: images Newcastle animal wallpaper

Monday, November 07, 2005

Joke - speeding ticket


Tags: humour

Zoo joke

A man went to a zoo. The only animal there was a dog.

It was a shitzu.

Tags: humour animal

Friday, November 04, 2005

Royal Shakespeare Company

The RSC is coming to town again, playing both the Theatre Royal and the People's Theatre.

Theatre Royal
A Midsummer Night's Dream - Mon 14th to Sat 19th Nov
Twelfth Night - Tue 22nd Nov to Sat 26th Nov
The Comedy of Errors - Tue 29th Nov to Sat 3rd Dec

People's Theatre schedule

Tags: theatre Newcastle

UB40 Presents The Fathers Of Reggae

Look At This has another Free Music Friday, which inludes "UB40 Presents The Fathers Of Reggae"

Album Description
Three years in the making, the 'Fathers of Reggae' project is UB40 returning to their roots & taking a back seat whilst original legends from the reggae industry take turns behind the mic. The resultant set is fourteen UB40 tracks with the band themselves as backing band & array of stars giving their own interpretations. Furthermore, the final mixing of the album was done by some of the hottest producers & engineers in Jamaican music right now. Sly & Robbie, Danny Brownie, Steely & Clevie, Fatta & Bulby were all involved adding a final sheen of authenticity to the project. 2002. (

Tags: music iluvnufc