Games

www.stickcricket.com
It's all in the timing apparently.

www.just35.com/footie
Keepie up. How many times can you keep the ball up? I got 39!

zefrank.com/everysecond/
How good are you at guessing lengths of time?
This simple game finds out for you.

Tags: games

Best-ever Freeware Utilities

www.techsupportalert.com

This site lists a lot of stuff that I use, so it must be good! :-)
Including:
AVG Anti Virus (www.grisoft.com) allow you to download a free anti-virus program.
Spybot Search and Destory (spybot.safer-networking.de) for getting rid of spyware.
Ad Aware (www.lavasoft.de) cleans your system of programs you don't want on your PC.
Win Patrol (www.winpatrol.com) is a great little program that sits in the background and tells you when programs are trying to change the settings on your PC.


Anyway, there's 46 of them. For some reason the list does not contain

Zone Alarm (www.zonelabs.com), a free firewall that lets you know what programs are trying to connect to the internet.

Nor does the list contain House Call (housecall.antivirus.com) as it is a free online anti-virus scans.

Tags: internet technical software list

Terror alert in France

AP and UPI are reporting that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate."

The elevated alert level was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of their white flag factories, effectively disabling their military.

Tags: humour

Joke

A fireman notices a little girl next door playing with a little red wagon with
little ladders hanging off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled
in the middle. The girl is wearing a fireman's helmet. The wagon is
being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fireman walks over to
take a closer look.

That sure is a nice fire engine" the fireman says with admiration.

"Thanks" the girl says. The fireman looks a little closer and notices
the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's
testicles.

The fireman says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but
if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar too, I think you
could go faster."

The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then
I wouldn't have a siren."

Tags: humour animal

Football quiz

Q1: Name six England football internationals from the past 25 years who have surnames ending in 'TT'.
Q2: Name five England footballers from the last 10 years whose first names start with the same letter their surnames end in?
Q3: Who are the nine English league clubs who have the same number of letters in the first name as their last name.


Tags: football quiz

Charity

The Non Profits
http://www.thenonprofits.com/
This site lists lots of charity sites where "you click, the advertisers pay", one of which is The Hunger Site, but there's plenty more good causes.

Tsunami Eartquake Appeal - donate online
http://www.dec.org.uk/
The Disasters Emergency Committee have set up a website where you can donate online to the DEC Tsunami Eartquake Appeal.

Christmas presents
Here you buy a useful gift for someone in the developing world e.g. a fishing net or care for an orphaned child; they get the prezzie and your friend gets a card telling them what’s been done in their name.

Some of the stuff available is:
Buy a pig at worldvision.org.uk
Buy a goat or brood of chickens at oxfamunwrapped.com
Send a cow at: sendacow.org.uk
Adopt anything from an elephant to a dolphin at wwf.org.uk
Adopt a minefield


Tags: charity shopping

The Amazing Cat Collection

http://www.amazingcatcollection.com/
A collection of pictures of cats.

Tags: animal humour images photos

toongoals.tk

toongoals.tk offers you a chance to receive video clips of Newcastle United by email.
Add your email address to the mailing list, select which files you would like to receive, and that's it.

Tags: toongoals video nufc football

Cricket 2005

Fixtures
Get your tickets asap, by the looks of it the test matches have been sold out already!

npower Test Series v Bangladesh
Thu 26- Mon 30 May, 1st Test v Bangladesh, Lord’s
Fri 3-Tue 7 June, 2nd Test v Bangladesh, Durham

NatWest Series warm-up match
Sat 11 June, England v Hampshire, Rose Bowl

NatWest International Twenty20 match
Mon 13 June, England v Australia, Rose Bowl

The NatWest Series
Thu 16 June, England v Bangladesh, The Brit Oval
Sat 18 June, Australia v Bangladesh, Cardiff
Sun 19 June, England v Australia, Bristol
Tue 21 June, England v Bangladesh (D/N), Trent Bridge
Thu 23 June, England v Australia (D/N), Durham
Sat 25 June, Australia v Bangladesh, Old Trafford
Sun 26 June, England v Bangladesh, Headingley
Tue 28 June, England v Australia (D/N), Edgbaston
Thu 30 June, Australia v Bangladesh, Canterbury
Sat 2 July, Final, Lord’s

The NatWest Challenge
Thu 7 July, England v Australia, Headingley
Sun 10 July, England v Australia, Lord’s
Tue 12 July, England v Australia, The Brit Oval

npower Test Series v Australia
21-25 July, 1st Test v Australia, Lord’s
4-8 Aug, 2nd Test v Australia, Edgbaston
11-15 Aug, 3rd Test v Australia, Old Trafford
25-29 Aug, 4th Test v Australia, Trent Bridge
8-12 Sept, 5th Test v Australia, Brit Oval

Tags: England cricket sport

Joke

An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of his impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite cheese scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were dozens of his favourite cheese scones. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, he could almost taste the cheese scone before it was in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to the nearest scone at the edge of the table, when his hand was suddenly smacked with a spatula ... by his wife.. . . . . . . . . . . "Feck off" she said, "they're for the funeral."

Tags: humour

A day in the life of a crane driver

@ lethalautodesign.co.uk
A picture can speak a thousand words. Maybe it's my warped sense of humour, but this is brilliant.

Tags: humour images photos

Films

www.metacritic.com
Metacritic compiles reviews from respected critics and publications for film, video/dvd, books, music and games. A summary of reviews if you like.

UK's top100 films
The Ultimate Film counts down, for the first time ever, the most successful 100 films to show in UK cinemas since the dawn of film, based on actual bums on seats.

The last film I saw was.....
American Beauty (link)
An absolutely fantastic film. I can not recommend it enough. In my top 20 films ever. If you haven't seen this film then do so.

Cube (link)
An above average horror film. Hardly "one of the best films ever" which a film graduate said to me. (In case you don't know me 'above average' isn't the highest of compliments from me when it comes to films released since the video revoltion of the 80s).

Pirates of the Caribbean (link)
Another film that is nearly a great film. Johnny Depp hams it up a bit too much, but certainly good enough.

2010 (link)
Not as good as 2001, but not bad for a sequel. At least it offers an explanation of why HAL9000 lost it.

Dawn of the Dead (link)
A parcel.

The Maltese Falcon (link)
"It's twelve inches high and its solid gold". An excellent film, though not as good as The Big Sleep (below) - this is only the second time I've watched it, Humphrey Bogart playing an unsavoury Sam Spade.

Holy Smoke (link)
This is a lass's film. It's the first film I've seen directed by Jane Campion!! I did however, enjoy it. Don't know why mind, probably because Harvey Keitel is in it (more likely the nude Kate Winslet scene :).

Lost in Translation (link)
Not my sort of film at all, but I really enjoyed it. A film about how 2 people meeting can temporarily have an effect on each other's lives. Very slow.

Shaun of the Dead (link)
Absolutely brilliant - hilarious. I loved it.

The Big Sleep (link)
Humphrey Bogart as Philip Marlowe, with Lauren Bacall - a cracking mystery thriller, though possibly a bit too complex - that's just me being picky.

Citizen Kane (link)
I don't want to show my ignorance, but I didn't think this was as good as it's cracked up to be. Orson Welles was fantastic, but I wasn't captivated by the film.

Supersize me (link)
When you analyse some of the facts shown in this film, McDonald's aren't as bad as they could be - he was only asked if he wanted to go supersize 9 times in 90-ish visits. Mind you I recommend you don't go to McDonalds as their food is shit. (I'm pleased to say I haven't been to McDonalds in 10 years).

Links
www.lovefilm.com
You can get 10 free DVDs from lovefilm.com (you'll have to remember to cancel your membership though). The DVDs are delivered by post.
uk.imdb.com
turnerclassicmovies.com
Five shit movies that everyone loves.

Tags: film list

Motorbikes

Speed cameras
List of speed cameras in Tyne and Wear, Northumberland and Durham - there's only 1 camera in Durham from the Association of British Drivers.

http://www.abd.org.uk/cameras/tyne_and_wear.htm
http://www.abd.org.uk/cameras/northumberland.htm
http://www.abd.org.uk/cameras/durham.htm
Speed trap bible

Links:
Accessories - Buster's accessories
Accessories - JS accessories
British Motorcyclists Federation
CBR600F - photo of my bike
CBR600F review from MCN
CBR600F review from Used Bike Guide
CBR600F - help with servicing
CBR forum
CBR forum - CBR600F forum
CBR forum - Technical advice
Dealers (of motorbikes!) in Tyne and Wear
Ebay Motorcycles
Ebay Motorcycles: Clothing, Helmets
Ebay Motorcycles: Parts & Accs.
Highway code (for motorcycles)
Honda
Inside bikes
Links from the Honda Owners Club
Links from Ronnie Cramer's Motorcycle Web Index
Links from motorcycle-uk.com
Links from motorcycling.co.uk
Links from motorbike-search-engine.co.uk
Links from Passion-4 motorcycling
The Motorcycle Industry Association
MCN - Motorcycle News
Ogri
Speed cameras - Tyne & Wear
Speed cameras - Northumberland
Speed cameras - Durham
Speed trap bible
Suspension settings

Tags: motorbikes list

Useful Links

Amazon books (amazon.co.uk)

"It was once called the world's biggest bookstore. Today, books are just one type of item the giant online retailer sells in 32 different product categories... Amazon, like some of its competitors, is lowering shipping costs.". (PC Mag)

Answers (answers.com)

"Answers.com - the ultimate answer engine, with quick accurate dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopedia, bios, tech terms, news, sports, weather, and much more - provides quick, integrated reference answers instead of just search engine links". (answers.com)

Anti virus (housecall)
online virus checker.

BBC

Calendar (timeanddate.com) - A simple calendar, you can choose the month and/or year, amongst other customisations.

CD DB (gracenote.com)
Online database of music CDs - that can automatically list individual tracks on the CD.

Charity

Complaints (consumercomplaints.org)
The links page of the Trading Standards Service gives links to the Advertising Standards Authority, BBC Online Watchdog, Department of Trade and Industry, Fairdeal Local Trading Standards, Food Standards Agency, HM Customs and Excise, National Association of Citizens Advice Bureaux, Office Of Fair Trading & other organisations.

Council (direct.gov)
All UK councils are listed in this government site.

Dictionary (dictionary.com)

"Need to know the meaning of a word? Try Dictionary.com, a multisource dictionary search service. And don't worry if you don't know how to spell the word. Simply guess, and you'll get a list of suggestions if you're wrong". (PC Mag)

Directory enquiries

E bay (ebay.co.uk)

"eBay is the go-to place for all things for millions of people. You can purchase new or used products, rate the person with whom you do business, and even set up your own online shop. It's more than a shopping site, it's an online community, and as such there are many rules in place, including security for perspective buyers and sellers". (PC Mag)

Encyclopedia (wikipedia)

"Wikipedia has grown to 750,000 articles, including entries based on late-breaking stories. Thanks to good oversight, this wiki-based encyclopedia is reasonably free of opinion masquerading as fact—though it's always good to check articles against other sources. A great resource, even if some entries are out of date or incomplete.". (PC Mag)

Films (imdb.co.uk)

"This site has everything you ever wanted to know about nearly every movie or DVD ever released. Each listing includes cast and crew members, plot summaries, box office info, even user reviews and trivia. There's even a TV component (iMDbTV) that follows current and upcoming TV shows". (PC Mag)

Football scores (soccerbase.com)

"A comprehensive football statistics site, primarily covering English and Scottish leagues.
Soccerbase contains the results of every English and Scottish league or cup match ever played. You can discover that Forfar 5 East Fife 4 really was a true scoreline, and thousands of other facts. The underlying database is the same that powers Racing Post stats, and is updated every 15 minutes. A real blessing is the speed with which the site can be navigated - there are few ads, and links to relevant players, teams, games and so on make research extremely easy. For the serious gambler there is useful betting data covering fixed-odds, spread betting and pools, but the site can provide entertainment for any statistically-minded fan". (Web User)

Google Earth

"Part tool, part toy. Google came up with this top-notch concept that marries its useful map program with actual satellite imagery. Type in a known address, and if the satellite photo exists, you can zoom in to within a few hundred feet of your search. Though some addresses aren't as accurate as they could be, and large sections of the planet have yet to be married to satellite photos, this free download is a lot of fun". (PC Mag)

Government

Health - (WebMD)

"Not just for hypochondriacs, WebMD is a great resource for checking symptoms, finding a physician, seeking out others with your condition, and researching medications and herbal remedies. The site also has a weight-loss clinic and a fertility center. All in all, it's a great resource to help you ask your doctor the right questions and to explore alternative treatments". (PC Mag)

League table

Local info
Location

Lottery numbers (national-lottery.co.uk)

"Search through a six-month archive to check numbers. There is also information on the Lotto, Thunderball and other games". (Web User)

Maps

Money

MP (theyworkforyou.com)

"This website gives access to data on your MP & your MP’s performance and appearances at Parliament, by simply tapping in your postcode. It also holds a collection of material from Hansard, the official record of everything said in the House of Common. The site doesn’t provide any radical information, with many of the sections linking towards other sites, but acts a useful starting block for those of keen to get involved with local politics". (Web User)

Odds

Photos (flickr.com)

"A photo-sharing site with a social-networking bent, Flickr offers a host of ways to see and be seen. You can tag your photos by keyword, let other users add notes and comments, upload photos from your camera phone, post to blogs and multiuser pools, and, by searching the tags, find new photos and people to share them with". (PC Mag)

Police
Recipes (epicurious.com)

"A refined guide for gourmet diners. Learn what to eat, where to eat and how to cook like the pros.
Definitely at the refined end of the market, Epicurious is a site for those who eat for enjoyment and don't care about the cost. The recipes veer towards the complex and for many you'll need a pretty good food shop. But for the serious gourmet, these are minor concerns and with many recipes sourced from top restaurants, there's sure to be something here worth the effort. Epicurious has over 10,000 recipes, all rated by readers. There are also special food features and even technique videos showing you how to open oysters and clean clams for example. ". (Web User)

Route planner (theaa.com)

Post codes

Search (google.co.uk)
The biggest search engine. This link goes to the UK version, which offers a choice of whether to search UK websites only.

Shopping
SoYouWanna
The time
Train times
Translator
What's on TV (radiotimes.com)

"The online home for TV listings magazine Radio Times, with listings information for over 350 TV and radio channels 14 days in advance.
For every programme in the guide, you can find a brief description and, for some, related websites and trivia facts. Register with the site to save a programme to a personalised schedule or turn your PDA into a listings guide and remote control for your TV with a free two-week trial. There’s also a request text message programme reminder for the truly square-eyed. Film buffs will enjoy the Film Reviews section, which has features over 24,000 expert reviews and film-related information for both TV and cinema". (Web User)

Wallpaper (caedes.net)

"You can make your PC a bit more pleasant with "desktop wallpaper" from Caedes.net. You can download any of the hundreds of artwork—photographs, fractal pieces, and illustrations—featured on the site and use them as your screen background. If you're artistically inclined, you can even upload some of your personal artwork to the site. Never stare at a boring screen again". (PC Mag)

Tags: internet list resources useful

Messaging

http://webmessenger.msn.com

I don't know why, but I've always had problems with messaging. There is now an online version, which works without installing any software.

Shoot the messenger
This program gives you greater control over the Windows Messenger Service. Windows Messenger Service is completely different from, and not in any way related to, "MSN Messenger", "Windows Messenger", or any other well-known instant messaging system.

Tags: messaging internet technical software

Extracts from Edinburgh Festival Stand-Up

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks? Adam Bloom at the Pleasance

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night. Susan Murray at the Underbelly

The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be shitting herself. Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance

My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I Was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a twat. Susan Murray at the Underbelly

Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people. David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon

I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, "Say something funny then." I told them I had just graduated from flying school. Ahmed Ahmed at C34

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we're not going to get much done." Jimmy Carr at the ICC

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well. Scott Capurro at the Pleasance

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Shit, I wasn't listening ... Self-raising?" Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face. Jeremy Limb, at the Trap

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation. Jimmy Carr

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help". Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron

I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the Girl out of Cork ... Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax. Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join The circus?" The dog replies: "Well, what would the circus want with a plumber". Steven Alan Green at C34

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms

Walking down Princes Street, soaking up the atmosphere, I saw a big sign that said: "Bus tours, ten quid." So I thought I'd give it a try... What a rip off. Ten quid to have a look round a bus! Seymour Mace at Café Royal

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears. Chris Addison at the Pleasance

Ask people about God nowadays and they usually reply, "I'm not religious, but deep down, I'm a very spiritual person." What this phrase really means is: "I'm afraid of dying, but I can't be arsed going to church." Colin Ramone at The Stand

I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: "This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?" Arnold Brown at The Stand

'Schindler's List' ... I got that out, thinking it was a porn movie. Well ... the title's in German ... and it did feature a shower scene. Ricky Gervais at The Playhouse

Thanks Chayton

Tags: humour list

Children's pictures

http://www.maddox.xmission.com/irule.html
"If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece"

A trifle harsh maybe, but he has a point!

Thanks Scott

Tags: humour images

Management speak

Mission Statement

A mission statement is defined as "a long, awkward sentence that
demonstrates management's inability to think clearly."

All good companies have one.

Thanks Laura

Tags: humour Laura

Comedy - Fighting talk

@ bbc.co.uk

Fighting talk is a comedy programme on BBC Radio Five Live. It describes itself as

"A razor-sharp breakdown of all that’s happening in the volatile world of sport.

Sony Gold award winner Christian O'Connell, acts as ringmaster - or referee - over a panel of experts from around the world trying to stick their oar in and put their spin on events.

Christian gives points for informed comments but penalises any witless outbursts.".

An hour long programme broadcast at 11.00 on saturday mornings, this week it was hilarious. Lawrie McMenemy says of Robbie Savages' intelligence "last week he went out and bought 2 books, fair play to the lad, he's coloured one of them on already". :-D

If you've an hour to spare! There's a button to click near the top of the page to listen to the latest edition of Fighting Talk.

There's also a poll to vote for the best sports commentator ever.

Tags: humour bbc

BT's telephone rip off

Cheap phone lines
http://www.itplc.com
Internet Telecommunications Plc will half the cost of line rental that BT charges.

Cheap phone calls
http://www.call18866.co.uk/

If you register at call18866 your telephone calls cost 1p. (They are actually free, but there is a 1p connection charge).
This is obviously a gross simplification of what is a legally binding contract, but it gives the general picture. The calls cost 1p, no matter how long they are.

There's an article about it on MoneySavingExpert.com here.

Details:
All calls to landlines are 1p for as long as you like. (Except 0845, 0870 etc)
You can set it so you are told how much the call costs before connection.
You have to dial 18866 before the number you want to ring.
Calls to mobiles are 12p/min through the week and 2p/min at week-ends.

Cheap directory enquiries
You can get free directory enquiries on the internet at www.118500.co.uk, www.192.com and www.ukphonebook.com

There's an article about it on MoneySavingExpert.com here


Tags: BT money